its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
