At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
