I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I touched a dick in church today
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
