i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
