my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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