I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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