and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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