The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
