Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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