Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
