I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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