u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
