My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
