so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
