My girlfriend figured out who you are.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
