Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
