Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Slut skills are useful in every country.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
