so that wasnt chicken after all
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
