so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
