I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
