omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
