you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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