i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
