i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
