how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
