last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
