well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
