Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
