She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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