Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
