Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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