We're like a lot better than the average bears
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
