Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry i_am_hollywood hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(503): View more from Oregon

and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.

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(301): View more from Maryland

people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade

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(716): View more from New York

My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.

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(424): View more from California

you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes

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(647): View more from Ontario

I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.

(905): View more from Ontario

It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.

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