I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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