So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
