Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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