when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He has the fingertips of a God
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