quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
