how hairy? two words: wookie tits
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
