Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
