Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
