i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
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