That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Say something about gay babies.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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