420 ftw
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
