"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
