Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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