so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just forgot I was standing up.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
