Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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