One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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