As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
